I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize