Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
