Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
