I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
