Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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