i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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