he shaved USA in his pubs
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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