We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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