btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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