I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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