I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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