Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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