U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
someone owes me an orgasm
smell my finger.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize