I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize