wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Every concussion has its silver lining
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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