So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Randomize
