Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
