If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
