It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize