when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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