She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize