You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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