alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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