This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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