just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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