I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
