i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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