Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
