I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
