We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
