This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
