Reggie can tackle my bush.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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