If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
