You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
