is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize