Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
