Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
