Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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