porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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