Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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