you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
