My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
