I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
