she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
