his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
