you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
