Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
