i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
