How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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