I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
