I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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