im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
