I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize