got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
