Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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(478): View more from Georgia

She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

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(802): View more from Vermont

you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk

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(850): View more from Florida

She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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(406): View more from Montana

K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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(510): View more from California

I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months

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