so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
