We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
